How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Feb 1, 2015

Turn the Page

Friday, I got the news every cancer patient longs to hear. I am officially two years cancer free.

My doctor has reduced me to once a year check ups, which almost had me doing the happy dance in the hallway of his office the way I did after my first visit when he told me that tests showed they had gotten it all in surgery.

This time, I blinked back tears as I said a little prayer for God to bless that precious man, and thanking God got bringing such a skilled, kind surgeon into my life, for giving him the skills to save my life.

At that moment, I felt a peace I have not felt any time through out the last three years since I first heard those doom tolling words that opened up a frightening unknown... "It is cancer."

Besides, my feet were killing me from working that day.So, no dancing, just hobbling off to a nice meal with my girl brat and a sweet friend from work.

I feel as though I have finally closed that door. I have turned the page to the next chapter in my life. Now the really hard part starts.

Where do I go from here?

Yesterday, I think, I was given a glimpse, a hint, at the beginning of this new chapter.

I was called in early for work, filling in for someone who is sick, until someone else could get there. I took a little break to grab breakfast before starting my usual work.

One of the others was on her break, and joined me. She is a young woman around the age of my kids, married to a young man I have known forever, with little ones of their own. Such a sweet girl, though until yesterday I haven't really talked much with her.

As we chatted, me gushing, I am afraid, about my new status in the whole cancer situation, I learned a bit about her. Not my story to share, of course. Let's just say that I found a kindred spirit. I found myself, nearly 30 years ago.

In that conversation, I realized that I have a lot I can really do in this world. There are so many young women out there that might benefit from my experiences, if nothing else learn from my mistakes.

So, I think I might, finally, be in a place where my own demons are tamed enough that maybe I can help others tame theirs. If nothing else, I can be an ear to listen, a warm, safe place to land and regroup. Most of all, I can help with those words I wish I had heard when I was a young woman struggling with pain I shouldn't have been feeling, dealing with demons not of my making:

I know what you are feeling.

You did nothing wrong.

It was not your fault.

You are special.

You are good.

You are precious.

The world is blessed with you in it.

Don't give up.

Anyway, as I say all the time to the Punk, we'll see how it unfolds.

I never thought that at 52, a part of my life would be just beginning.

Blessing and love to all who have been reading these past years, and to all who may have just found this blog.

I am just beginning...

Peace out darlin's. The best is yet to come.

Comments (3)

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Fae » 3 years ago

I'm so happy to hear your good news! Cancer free 2 years! Check up once a year! I can just picture you doing your happy dance.

Holly » 3 years ago

Yay!!! Great news! And you do have a kind heart and receptive ear to share.

wee woman » 3 years ago

It's time you tooted your own horn.