How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Jan 1, 2015

New Year's Eve

Tonight marks my third anniversary as a blogger. I have been pretty spotty on here this year, and made mostly the same excuse: Too much to choose from to write. That is true, though not completely. Mostly this year, I have been fighting the dark that crowds in on me more often than I really want to even try to understand, much less explain.

The holidays alone are usually enough for me to shut down, break down, or melt down. This time of year usually turns me into a big weeping mass of regret and pain from the loss of those who once made this time of year a joy. This year, with the loss of my uncle, the list added another name.

Micah, my trusty steed, has been down for a few weeks now. That has me on foot, or bumming rides, and alternately has me pissed off and crushed. Worse, it has me swallowing way too much of what little pride I have grown, my independence curtailed. I hate depending on others. That is the one thing I have been trying to break away from, and Micah not working as he should is like 50 steps backward.

Still, there have been some highlights that have kept me from a complete crash and blubber fest. There has been the glorious little fella that warms my heart with a smile. Having the Mini Brat around for Christmas made the day.

My BFF, the Wee Woman, is doing well. The chemo seems to be working, with minimum discomfort, shrinking the tumors. She is half way through her treatments, gearing up for her surgery. Her joking about having the boobs she had as a younger woman, and never having to wear a bra again makes me laugh out loud when ever I think of it. Her spirit and fight have always had me in awe, but now she humbles me beyond description. I am the one that blubbers, SHE comforts ME! She made my holiday on Saturday with her gift.She came for a quick visit, and brought me a PURPLE Christmas tree, complete with the works. Again, cheering me up when she knew I was low.

The best part was the meeting of my bright highlights. The Wee Woman and the Mini Brat meeting for the first time, and falling in love. It was the best day ever, tied with Christmas.

Anyway, Here I sit, another year ending, and spending it on here as I have every new year's eve since I began learning to navigate the web.

I hoped to write more this year than I did. Maybe the new year will bring more there, as well as a few less dark days. After all, January 2 also brings another anniversary.

Two years cancer free.\

I pray the BFF gets the same news in a few months. That in its self will lift a lot of the darkness that keeps trying to take over my life.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May it bring peace, love, good health, and joy for all.

Talk with ya next year.

Comments (2)

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Reader » 3 years ago

Happy New Year to you, Kandy!

sharebear » 3 years ago

Happy new year!