How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Feb 21, 2014


A day off all the way around. The Punk is off with his sibs doing something nice for his mom, I'm off the schedule for the day though they did call to see if I could work. (Thanks for that 4 a m call!)I could have used that little more $ in my check. Normally I would jump at more hours, but after last night, I just couldn't say yes.

Life in my little corner of the world was buffeted by two storms last night. When I finally went to bed, part of me wondered if it would be worth waking today.

The first was a lot of wind, torrents of rain, even the lights going out for a short time.

The second, an on going storm that has had me twisted into knots for months now.

I wish I could talk more about it here, sort of use the Punk's steps to working out a problem, see if I can make sense of any of it, but I can't. Too many private folks involved, too many hurt feelings already.

I can say this. Watching the people I love hurting makes me feel so helpless.

They are struggling so hard to be responsible adults one moment, selfish brats the next. I see tears in relationships that may or may not mend. It's going to take a lot of time, patience, and love.

I am just not sure if there is enough in them all to mend the rifts happening. I wonder if there might even be some people who are deliberately causing those I love to distance themselves from others out of selfishness.

All I know is my heart is breaking with every cruel word, every thoughtless action, every growing distance I see.

When I went to bed last night, the rain had stopped, temperatures had cooled from our balmy high sixties of yesterday. I imagined myself just curling up in bed and sleeping all day. I had no one expecting me anywhere, no errands to run.

I woke at 8, the sun streaming bright. The storm had left behind such a gorgeous day, crisp, clean, full of promises.

So, I got up, dressed, put on my sneakers that are wearing out fast, and walked my mile in that cool, bright sunlight.

It cleared my head a bit.

Maybe the other storm will finally be resolved soon. I just hope the wind and rain from it will wash away the hurt and help those I love find a way back to each other. Maybe that storm will pass, leaving behind stronger bonds where the tears were.


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