How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Dec 31, 2013

New Year's, 2013

Two years ago, I had just started this, and a lot of things have passed through those two years. Some have left foot prints, like bare feet at the edge of the ocean. Some have washed away with the tides of change. Some are still faint imprints, and some have dug in deep to stay until those final winds come that we all face in the end to brush away it all. Then there are those that have scuffed up the sand like hoof prints from a galloping horse: messy, but beautiful in their own way.

This past year, I have faced my own mortality. That horse galloped through my life, tossing sand in every direction, and uncovering a strength I never knew I possessed. I made it through.

So far, all my tests have all come back clean of cancer. I thank God, who moves through my life in so many incredible ways, leaving His blessings in my heart every day. I thank my friends and family for sticking by me and lifting me up when I stumbled to the edge of that old, black abyss. I also thank them all for kicking my ass when i needed it.

The new year coming brings so many possibilities.

Having the job will help me have that little bit of stability for which I have longed for so long. It has given me a new confidence that peeks out from time to time. For some reason I still can't fathom, some of my co workers still seem to like me. I am grateful for that as well.

Something else that the new year brings, that will turn all my family's lives up side down, but in a good way, is that little secret I have had to sit on since September. Since so many people around here know it now, I think it's okay to finally reveal that.


It's a long story, very complicated, but it all boils down to this. My boy brat, 26, but still a bit wet behind the ears, is going to be a dad.

He and his lady love are expecting a little one around the end of June. The first ultra sound was this last week, but the little sucker is shy, so we have to wait until maybe next time to find out if it's a boy or girl. My money is on boy, but to be honest, I want it to be a girl that will keep my kid awake in the night until she's 30!!

I have struggled from disappointment, to anger, to hurt and finally to absolute joy. Disappointed in my son for not being 'careful.' Anger at how messed up it has been these past months. Hurt that I have been having to keep my mouth shut at times because, apparently, I stress some folks out with questions.

Finally joy. Ah, now that has many avenues.

There is the young mother to be that my son adores beyond reason, sometimes. I have grown to love her. She is beautiful, smart, sweet, and seems to love my son almost as much as I love him.

There is the way my son has become a man seemingly over night. He has shown courage I always knew he possessed. I am proud of him for the way he has embraced the turns his direction in life has taken. I think he will be a very good father.

Last, but not least, there is this new, precious life coming into mine. I can not wait to hold it in my arms, smell it, hear it's tiny heart beating. I want to hear my son's little boy laughter echo in his child's laughter. I want to see it's eyes sparkle, full of mischief as his still do sometimes.

A little piece of immortality comes into my life this coming year. I can not wait to meet it.

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wee woman » 4 years ago

I inherited all of my grandchildren but I have come to love them all very much. It is so much fun to spoil them...