How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Sep 15, 2013


We all have our little quirks, those little things that make us even more different from others. I've been wondering about some of mine lately, and though our old friend Freud gets a bad rap for his own quirks, I think he still has a bit to say to some of us.

Sometimes, though, a cigar really is just a cigar.

Anyway, I seem to have an oral fixation of some sort, ignoring what ole Siggy has to say on the matter.

One way or another, my mouth has always been busy. Go figure, huh?

I've always been a chatter box, always in trouble in school for talking in class, and, if I liked the teacher in college, I could be a little obnoxious with the talking.

I used to sometimes chew my hair, pencils, my nails, what ever happened to be handy.

I think part of why I packed on the pounds has to do with that oral thing, too. Food was a comfort thing, but if it tasted good, it was so much more. Making my body look the way I felt, and giving me a reason to hide, was just a bonus.

There is that texture thing, too. I can not stand onions, particularly raw ones, because of the texture. I'm like that with a lot of different foods, the texture, or the smell.

(Taste and smell go hand in hand. I am a little weird about smells, too. I'll save that one for another day.)

The smoking... Ah, there we go. That was a serious part of the oral thing, too. I loved the whole process of it, from packing the pack to stubbing out the butt.

I guess my main quirk is the control thing. I've let others be in charge most of my life.

Taking control and being responsible for one's own actions is supposed to be a sign of maturity. I don't know about that, really. Being in charge of myself, sure. I want that. I want to say what I do, where I go, and when, with out any one else saying I can or can't.

A bit immature? Maturity is a matter of opinion, and highly over rated, anyway.

So, now I am trying to lose weight, and have quit smoking. What the hell do I do now?

I still talk a lot, though it's mostly to myself these days and has me a bit concerned.

It's been 26 days now with out so much as a puff, and the smell of smoke only makes my mouth water maybe once or twice a day. I can be around smokers with no real problem.

I chew a lot of gum. Bubble gum is my favorite, and yes, I blow bubbles and try to pop them as loudly as I can.

Pretzels. They are low fat, about 120 calories a serving, and I usually eat half a serving when ever I want a cigarette. Almonds are good, too, for that.

I've become obsessed with bottled water. The boy and I go through about 3 cases a week these days.

At least I haven't started chewing my nails again. Keeping them long, and polished helps keep them out of my mouth, most of the time.

It's all about control.

I am exchanging one kind of control for another, I guess.

Hey, I never said I was quirk free. Far from it. In fact, I am beginning to discover that even my quirks have little sub quirks lurking about just waiting to be noticed.


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