How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Aug 31, 2013

Feeling Groovy...

I have decided menopause is PMS, minus the mess, with a few extras thrown in for good measure.

Not only am I so freakin' moody few can stand me for more than short bursts, I have my fuzzy thinking I used to have about a week before the messy part. Let's not even get into the damned hot flashing all over the place, at any time, and the sweating that seriously makes me want to scream.

There are times I wonder if I am even making sense to anyone with whom I'm talking, and times when the brats look at me oddly, giving me the impression I am not making total sense.

Now, we all know I am prone to airhead moments, and down right flaky moments, but lately, they seem to be coming more frequently, and at very inopportune moments. I guess I would be a bit more concerned if I was not actually growing to enjoy those weird assed times when I have no idea what will spring from my mouth, or what I might decide to do.

Hell, maybe I am just losing my mind. Either way, "Dada ta dada dada, Feelin' Groovy..." most days, anyway.

Anywhoo....

The husband is home for a few days, and it seems he is finally talking his health situation a bit more seriously. I'm glad. I have been worrying myself sick. The health issues have brought a few other things to light of late. There really have to be some changes made in many areas. I refuse to let myself slide back to that tired, sad old cow I had become way too soon. I am too young to feel so old.

I have my moments when it feels like I am 'backsliding,' a regional phrase with different meaning normally, but I shake them off, and more easily each time.

Folks are gonna have to realize, from now on, it's either walk with me, keeping up or walk with me now and then with out trying to slow me down if they aren't keeping up. Don't try to hold me back or throw up road blocks. I might just bulldoze those to the side, or level them on my journey.

It is, after all, my life, to be shared, or not, just like anyone else's life is theirs to share with whom they wish to share it. I am no more important than anyone else, but I finally realize, I am not less important, either.

Update:

After 10 days more or less smoke free, then 4 with smokes, I am now 11 days completely with out a single puff. I think it's gonna take this time. I am breathing easier every day, and I am beginning to think my energy levels were being drained by the smoking. Probably having to do with less oxygen getting where it needed to go. Well, that's my thinking anyway. So, except for what may become a scar on my tongue from chomping on gum, so far, so good.

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