How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Aug 17, 2013

Rock and Roll Love Letter

For a little while today, I was 14 again. Not the drab, sad, withdrawn 14 year old girl I was many moons ago, but the girl I should have been.

I slept in, instead of getting up at 6 a m and walking. I rolled out of bed around 7 ish, did two loads of laundry to go with the one I did last night, and hauled them to the laundry mat. My dryer's heating element has conked out. I then ran to the trash facility and threw away two bags of crap from my evening pitch party, came back and ate my breakfast in the parking lot as I watched the clothes turn. Nothing special, in my own world, guzzling a Diet Dr Pepper, one of my few indulgences these days.

I came home, took the boy to work. Again, nothing new.

When I came home, I decided, since it was nice and cool, I'd get my walk in anyway. I grabbed my MP3, which I have neglected of late, screwed the gummy bears into place, and headed out.

I had Kings of Leon going at first, but I only have one of their songs. I need more of that band. FAB!

I had America going for a while, just hoofing along, and it started to drizzle. I decided it would have to just be one mile in case the rain decided to come on more.

When I started back, a lady came out to the street to talk to me. It was like she was watching for me to come back that way. I pulled out the bears, and we chatted for a bit. Actually, after her initial, "I told my husband I should start joining you," I gave her my usual spiel of the walking, my 'eat what I want, just not as much' and the no longer holed up routine I usually give in different variations when folks congratulate me on 'what you're doing.'

Once I got going again, the drizzle had stopped, so I decided to take in a few of my old blocks from when I first ventured back out into the world of the living. Bears back into place, I scrolled down to my old preteen favorite band... Yes, WW, you think you know what's coming, right? The Punk probably does, too.

Yep. I cranked up the Bay City Rollers the way I should have been able to listen to them as a kid: loud enough to rattle the windows. The effect is better with the bears in place because there isn't anyone to tell me to 'turn that shit down' anymore. And screw anyone who tries to now, damn it!

Anyway, I realized my pace was faster, I even had a little bounce going on, besides the damned belly. It was wonderful. I could have walked forever, but I saw the house, let out a sigh, and turned my sneakers that way. I have so many things I really need to do in reclaiming the house, maybe even calling it home and meaning it a little bit.

I sat out on my porch, under its new roof, and lit up. Yes, I've slipped. I had a few rough days this week, and it was that or eat. Let's face it, I have worked to damned hard to go back to either, so I plan to not buy more, and no more cigarettes in the house where it's easy to just grab one out of boredom. It's one pack. I know, I know, but I am trying.

Anyway, I sat on the porch and, with the BCRs going, I thought.

I should have felt that sort of glee, that joy, at just being alive, as a kid. I rarely did. Maybe I am finally having that now.

The title is the song I played 5 times on the walk and while vegging on the porch. I always liked it, but now I think it is my favorite. I loved the drums, the guitars, the sheer glee of loving music that comes across in it, cranked loud. Makes me want to put my CD in and crank it up as I go about trying to get a little more done today...

The girl's asleep. Ah, surely she won't mind her mom cranking up the tunes... HEHEHEHE!!! Well, if she does, TOUGH!

While Googling to find the song above, I saw a bit of the story of those guys, and now, I really feel sad for them. If you get the chance, it's a very interesting tale of music, being controlled, and robbed blind...


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