How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

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Brought up Nov 1, 2013

My Toughest Job

They say life is what happens when you are making plans. That used to confuse me when I was younger, but now, I get it. Things rarely go according to plan.

This week has been one of those weeks that dashes all plans to dust as life moves in and takes over.

We want the best for our kids. We dream of college, and professions for them. We dream of graduations, weddings, children of their own.

We never look at our newborn babes and think, I hope he/she screws up as much as I did.

The truth is, though, that our children will screw up. It's unavoidable since, like us, our children are only human. We can be there to help brush off the dust, help them stand on their feet again. In the end, though, we have to let them go out into the world to make their own lives, and yes, their own mistakes.

I often wonder sometimes if I have been a bad parent. I know I was not the best I could have been, but was I awful? I asked my son the other day to be honest with me. Was I a good mom?

His answer was a bit of a surprise.

We have had our share of clashes, banging heads on many of life's turns. It is because we are so alike. My daughter is very laid back, a live and let live sort of girl who rarely gets her feathers ruffled by life's crap. The boy, however, is a bit high strung, emotional, hot tempered, much like his mom.

So when I asked that question, I expected to hear, no, you were terrible. You didn't let me do this or that, you never let me go anywhere, or bought me this or that. I expected to have accusations peppered with swearing.

What I got was a small, sheepish grin, and a nod. Yes mom, you are a good mom.

I have done the best I could with what I knew.

I just hope, in the years to come, I can watch my kids do better. I will sit back with a smile, because even if I was not perfect, I did something right in raising these two ornery, obnoxious, fiery, yet kind, sweet loving people that will always, no matter what life throws their way, be my kids.

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