How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up May 24, 2013

Hoofin' Thoughts...

Something I discovered on my walk today is that my thoughts are still a tangled mess. This new found sense of, IDK, lightness, has not dispelled that. I don't know why I thought it would. I have discovered, though, that the thoughts don't detract from that feeling, either. Weird. I guess I figured if one thing changed, it all would. Hey, I never claimed to be rocket scientist.

So, the tangle. Most days, when the tangle gets a bit overwhelming, I grab a string and pull. What ever thought shakes loose, I go with it. When I can't make sense of it, I write it out here until it does make sense, or I just run out of words. Bear with me, I think I am going somewhere, maybe.

Some of the thing my hard head has finally begun to let sink in, for one thing, most who know me also know I argue, a lot. If I am so sure I am right, and sometimes even when in the middle i discover I am wrong, I will continue to argue. Well, actually, it's mostly when I am sure I am right until proven wrong, and feeling like a fool. My boy brat has inherited that unfortunately. He will argue til he is blue in the face, if he is right. The difference is, he usually is, and I am usually an idiot. Anyway, I have discovered that, idk, I guess I'd rather be peaceful then right. Someone once said, If you come from a place of power, there is no reason to raise your voice. I finally get that. Not that I feel powerful, or like I am some big deal. I am discovering that, apart from being mentally exhausting, draining,and bruising, arguing is pointless. I'd rather be peaceful and kind, then right. Doesn't mean I will always walk away from it, just that I will more often, because I realize there are more important things than being right.

Another thread I jerked loose on the walk. As some may recall, I am struggling with the religion thing, still. I still wonder why God would bother with a pissant like me when there are so many really horrible things in the world, but hey, it's His universe. I am letting go of trying to make sense of why He put me here and constantly questioning that why. I figure, like all things, it will come in His time, not mine. Still, I think the Druid life sounds promising. HEHE! Just kidding, maybe. I think I'd rather hug a tree and pick flowers to honor God than to put up with the all the clashing 'beliefs so many tout. I am Christian. I believe Jesus was God on Earth, but I have a real problem with how all the denominations have taken bits and pieces of scripture and ran with them. I figure, we should take it all as God's word, or none of it. (That's your influence, by the way, Punk.) I just don't understand enough of it to form a true opinion on it. I keep trying, though. It's in my nature to keep looking for answers, always.

Someone once asked me how I knew there was a God. Why I believed there was a supreme being. That one is easy. I looked around. There are so many miracles in the world, there has to be something behind it. If life sprang forward from some primordial ooze, even then, there had to be something that nudged it. I don't believe that there are two beings playing chess with humans as pieces on the board, but, I believe that somewhere in this swirl of stars and planets, there is Someone or Something that said, "Let there be light."

Anyway, those are a couple of my hoofing thoughts for the day.



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