How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

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Brought up May 25, 2013

Goofy or Nuts? You Decide

Have your kids been giving you the look lately? You know what look I mean, that "Yep the hamster has jumped the wheel and run for it's life!" look. I get it a lot these days.

My brats have perfected that look. It's kind of funny how they are just now figuring out that their mom has a twisted and okay, slightly childish and moronic sense of humor. The girl brat's favorite phrase these days is, "Mom, you are so retarded." I take it as a compliment. The boy brat usually just rolls his eyes, unless I get a really good one in there, then it's "Mom, you're a smartass," with a tone of something between shock and awe. I told him, "Where do you think YOU get it, little man?" (I mean, really? I walk out of the house with purse over the shoulder, keys in hand, and you're gonna ask, "Are you going somewhere?" Expect something like, "Yeah, skinny dipping in the Bahamas with Channing Tatum. And, no, you can't go. He's all mine." Eye rolls from the brat, chuckles from his buddy)

I love to laugh. Lately, I like making others laugh, too. Today, the girl and I worked in tandem to get one of her coworkers, who rarely smiles, to smile. I made her smile, but the brat had her actually chuckling. (I guess if someone shrieks "I love you!" with their eyes crossed and their nose pushed up, snout like with a finger often enough, I'd chuckle, too.) And she calls me retarded!

I'm a natural born klutz, so I guess I was born to get a chuckle from folks. I am always tripping over my own feet or learning to juggle the hard way with my refusal to make two trips from the car after a trip to the store. Okay, the yogurt at least didn't spill. Maybe it was the 'Son of a buzzard!' shouted with a foot stomp that had the neighbor chuckling.

This morning, I even laughed at myself and whispered 'you idiot' when I nearly did the splits in the bathroom. In my defense, I was not the one who left silky gym shorts on the floor. Between that, acting the fool to get a smile and experiments with Gorilla Glue, I have made myself giggle a bit today. (By the way, when using Gorilla glue, make sure you don't get it on your hands! I like to have never got my fingers unstuck! And, it is wise to not touch your hair, unless you want thin spot.)

Now, I am bored. The girl is at work, the boy off in my car with an admonishment of, "You break it, I break you." I have flittered around on FB, eaten something that was supposed to be a burrito that tasted like road kill and seems to be eating me back from the inside out. I think I might go and get today's walk in since I slept late today and the traffic was whizzing by like everyone was trying to break the sound barrier when I woke.

I guess my point to all this is, laugh a little. Things that would normally have had me swearing like a sailor, today had me giggling like a five year old. Heck, maybe the kids are right. If you happen to see that friggin' hamster, probably shedding severely from nerves, scurrying backwards some where, avoid it at all cost. I think it bites.


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