How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Jun 13, 2013

The Devil Inside

Menopause sucks, man!! I don't do heat well, either. The past few days, with 90+ temps, humidity, and all, I was beginning to think I was losing my mind. Extreme anxiety, coupled with other things going on, has had me in such a state the past few days. Finally, this morning, I had sense enough to google.

Yep. According to the site 34 Menopause Symptoms, what I am going through is caused by Mother Nature not being thrilled with what they did to me in January. Having a radical Hysterectomy, where they remove ALL the lady parts that could have been affected by the cancer, and lymph nodes in that region, has thrown me into menopause. This really sucks. Every little thing gets on my nerves, I am so emotionally fragile; It's worse than my worst PMS, because I see no end in sight. Some women have the symptoms a loooong time.

You would think certain folks around me would make an effort to sort of back the hell off right now, but no. Like I am not dealing with enough BS, the boy has been on my ass. His sister has been sending my emotions reeling. The husband has been absolutely no help, either, as usual.

I could use a little understanding right now, but hell, no. Let's just make things just a little bit worse, okay? I mean, WTF???

At least now, after googling, I know I am not losing what ever sanity I possess. Waking up with the INXS song, in the title of this, thumping through my brain seems to have gotten me thinking a bit more clearly so that I had sense enough to try finding answers instead freaking out this morning. The Devil Inside... INDEED!! Was beginning to think I would either be curled in a ball sobbing for the next how ever time this is going to happen, or my head was going to go spinning around and I'd be spewing green stuff at anyone who came near me.

Charming, right?

Someone once said, knowledge is power. Just learning that this has a cause, is fairly common and normal, has taken a bit of the edge off it all.

Oh, and the real kicker is that I can not have HRT. Hormone Replacement Therapy involves estrogen. My cancer was 'estrogen fed' according to my doc. So, yep, I gotta find a way to ride this crap out without murder. Man, I don't know...

I am a tough chick, and have come a long way from the whiny bawl baby I used to be, but HELL, MAN!! I am not sure I am strong enough for this latest pot hole in the road. Anyone got some rocks to fill it in? Nah, I'd probably throw 'em atcha...


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