How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Jan 15, 2013


Tonight, I had a chat with the Cajun, my dear friend from church who, unfortunately, understands what I have been through over the past 12 days. His sitch is much worse, how ever. He had half a lung removed the first week of November, and is now finishing his rounds of radiation and chemotherapy. He has lost all his hair, he said, along with most of his almost, but not quite, Yosemite Sam mustache.

We shared our waking up from being hacked on by sharp objects. He said all I am feeling, he felt. He assured me that it is normal for this damned gas thing to still be lingering, and hurting like something might explode any minute. The weepy, bitchy, snotty, angry, sadness is normal, too. He said it should start letting up soon.

The worst part is that 3 years ago I would have lapped up all this like a cat with cream. I would have wallowed in my own self pity and soaked up every ounce of everyone else's. Now, for the most part, I am seriously stir crazy, annoyed at having to let people do for me, ready to scream out loud. I have no patience for my moods. They were really becoming a rare thing before all this damned cancer thing reared its head.

I am glad the Cajun is doing as well as he says, if he is. His voice sounded strong on the phone, but I did dominate the conversation, as usual. I really hope I can see him soon. I have missed church 3 Sundays in a row. I hope, once the staples are out Friday, I can go this Sunday. I guess it depends on a) how I am feeling, b) if anyone is available to drive me if the doc says still no driving, and c) funds for gas.

I just hope I can get back to myself soon before I end up really pissing someone off.

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Connie » 5 years ago

Ahhhhhh You are so normal. You scream normal! Next week will be so much better and so on and so on. ((hugs))