How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Dec 23, 2012

Crazy Time...

Wee Woman, you are off the mark just a tad. A lot of what makes me so 'hungry' has very little to do with self loathing, and more to do with a lonely empty place nothing fills. I have made my choices, and have to live with them, even if it means living with that space.

Once again, the holidays approach, and once again, I dread them. At one point I was really looking forward to Christmas, but that all went crashing around my feet. Now, I just want the day to come, go and leave as few traces as possible. I can spout off about the true meaning of Christmas, but what's the use? No one listens to me. They just look at what little I was able to spend on them, and make me feel like crap. It isn't my fault, but I am the one who gets the blame anyway. I am sick to death of it all.

I meet with my anesthesiologist on the 27th. Yeah, its going to be a fabulous New Year.

The real bullshit is the money crunch that is about to hit. First the husband off work for the holidays, then my surgery. What the hell are we supposed to pay bills with or eat? Hell, I guess it really doesn't matter to anyone but me.

I am seriously on the verge of really telling everyone to go to hell. I can't take this much longer.

Comments (1)

+ Add a Comment

cuz » 5 years ago

Go to department of human services and see if they will pay some on your medical bills. Also if the hubby is off work sigm up for food stamps.