How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

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Brought up Mar 24, 2013

Memories And Letting Go

I had a heart wrenching conversation with the BFF today, weeping with her over the phone. She has spent the past few days, once again, going through her mom's things, and packing them to be disbursed among the remaining family members. She said it was her way of grieving. Actually, her words say it best. I asked her permission to share them, and she graciously said I could. She posted this on a special Facebook page her family has. They have kindly allowed me to be a 'member' of their group, and I am so thankful for that. Her words...

Today is difficult for me. I'm sitting here looking at " things" packed away and the realization hits me...

This isn't home anymore. Gone is the laughter that once filled these walls.

Forty plus years have been packed in boxes. We have all shared joy, triumphs, failures, hurts, sadness, but always love. We always knew that this was home and the door was always open. Peace and sanctuary within its loving embrace.

Its hard to know that there will be no more gatherings around the kitchen table, sipping coffee or sweet tea, sharing stories of our lives. I will miss this most of all.

Many feet have walked through this door; friends, family, sometimes enemies but all left feeling the love that oozed from these walls. I feel like these walls are now bleeding the laughter and love, fading to become just a house.

Each member of this family has left (this house) to start lives of their own, with their own families. We knew this would always be home. A place to find shelter from the storms that come in and out of our lives.

Now, instead of the din of laughter, the silence has become deafening. I know each of us will carry our memories inside our hearts along with the few possessions each have claimed.

I can only hope one day this house will become a home for someone new, that theses walls will echo with laughter and once again fill with love....... I love you Mom and Daddy.

I did a tiny bit of editing, for which I hope she forgives me. Her words tore at my heart.

I miss her mom and dad. It will be strange to go past that house, and not stop, because it is no longer Jody and Gene's home and none of the family will be there.

A large chunk of my childhood is stored in those walls as well. Her family opened their arms to a sad, scared little girl. They shared not only their laughter and love, but also the sanctuary.

Part of me bloomed in that home. Her dad's guitar playing awoke my love of music. Her mom's gentle humor made me feel welcome.

I ran through that house with the rest of them, slamming doors. We would be talking into the wee hours, her dad threatening to come in if we didn't get to sleep. We chased lightening bugs in the field behind that house. There was always room for one more at the table, and always at least seconds and thirds of her mom's wonderful cooking.

Her parents' passing has left such large holes in all the BFF and her family's lives. I feel so helpless while longing to comfort. When she thanked me today for listening to her, I was humbled. I did so little. I just listened and wept with her. It dawned on me that such a small thing, listening, can really help sometimes. I know what a big thing it is when she or the Punk listens to me, from my side of it. I hope she felt a fraction of comfort today that I feel after I have talked to her. Most of all, I pray for peace in the family's hearts as they struggle in dealing with their loss and letting go of the house. She is right. They each carry the love and memories inside them as they each continue their lives.

So do I. I am grateful for this family in my life, then, and now. I love them all.

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Connie » 5 years ago

Well. . .I'm doing the same thing. It started out more than 2 hours of sorting and making piles was all I could take. I'd leave. Just like that. Went on for weeks like that.