How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Nov 5, 2012


I'm home, but I think I left a part of me beside those waves, toes buried in the sand.

I took one last walk this morning, and cried. I didn't want to leave. The early morning sky was hazy, foggy, and pink where the sun should have been. The water was warm, the sand cool. I didn't care that my jeans were wet at the ankles. Our buddy the crane was back with a friend. There were a few early morning walkers, but everyone seemed to have the same attitude I had, and strolled quietly. I felt a stillness that is alien to me. I hated the very idea of leaving that beauty behind, but part of the stillness came home with me. I didn't stress over the noise Micah is making, well, not much during the drive, nor the fact that most of my problems are still around for me to tackle at home.

We had to leave a little early because the BFF received word of her aunt's passing, and she really felt she needed to get home. The drive back was mostly quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

We stopped for a bathroom break and sugar rush supplies. In honor of the Punk, I got gummi bears, his favorite. The BFF got fire balls for us both, coconut flavored candy similar to some from our childhood, and Laffy Taffy. We scarfed and chatted a bit until she drifted off to sleep. I flipped radio stations, and pondered the thoughts that were calmer than their usual jumble.

We stopped for lunch, and then a quick bathroom break before our final leg of the trip.

During that last hour, She lectured me. She's good at that, and though she sometimes points out things I don't want to hear, I always listen to her unflinching honesty. She is rarely wrong. I'ts one of the things that makes me love her. I know she loves me when she lectures. She always makes me think.

There are some changes I need to make in my life that I have been dragging my feet about, and in her blunt, honest way, she pointed a few of these out to me. They were things I thought about as I watched those waves this morning. Well some of them.

I dropped her off to her plans of a hot bath and early to bed. Though my thoughts began to tangle themselves when I hit that last state line, some of me is still calm, a little bit.

It's time I got my ass in gear and started living completely instead of a part of me just existing.

So, most of me is home... wishing I was still sitting by those waves, my feet burrowing into that sugary white sand, watching the gulls, listening to the water rushing in and out carrying my worries away with it...


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