How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Oct 24, 2012


Connie, keep the 6th open. I may need a hand to hold... I'll message you on FB.

My daughter, God bless her, rearranged her schedule to go with me today. It's a good thing she did. After my appointment, I am having trouble stringing two thoughts together.

I like my Gyno, male though he is. He looks about 20, with a black beard that has premature silver strands, and the kindest, laughing brown eyes. Cute as a bug. He passed on the 'exam' today, as I had that 3 weeks ago. He did what my other doctor had no time for: Explaining.

He said my liver, thyroid are 'perfect,' his word. Negative on any diseases and pregnancy... which would have had me passed out on the floor. He said that the suspicious cells, they did a DNA test on, and thought they are not 'good,' for now they are not precancerous, either. They are, how ever, something to keep an eye on.

Here is the real kicker... I am NOT menopausal. I am not perimenopausal. He said... man, he said I have the hormones of a 25 year old... WHAT THE HELL???????

Let's just say, the doctor got a dose of my colorful vocabulary. I cussed a blue streak up one side and down another. I thought he would fall off his little stool laughing. I will be 50 in exactly 2 months, 1 day... He said I am still ovulating. So, what the hell?? I haven't had a period in a year!!

He has scheduled an ultra sound for the 6th of November, with a follow up with him on the 9th. Depending on what the ultra sound shows, I may be in for more tests. Worst case, for now, will be a D&C.

I am still stunned. I don't know what to think.

I called my mom, and when I told her what he said about my hormones, she burst out laughing. The BFF laughed, the Punk laughed. The husband, ah, well, there was no laughing, but there was relief in his voice. My kid laughed. Everyone is laughing... Everyone, but me. Man, I really thought I was passed all the whole monthly thing. Since I was 11, except for pregnancies, I have had to deal with that whole messy biz, and was actually looking forward to not dealing with it any more. Now? Man, you can whack me over with a feather... just make sure you cover your ears if you are sensitive to swearing, because, baby, I had enough trouble biting back the four letters on the phone with mom... Everyone else, be prepared... Son of a bitch!! This just so damned messed up!!

Okay, so this would be good news for anyone else, right? I have two grown kids... some of my friends are grand parents. I really am ready to sit back and get old... okay, maybe not... Hell, if I have the hormones of a 25 year old from losing 88 pounds, imagine how I will be if I lose the other hundred I want to lose... Scary thought. that.


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