How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Oct 16, 2012

My Girl Child

I wanted to write this last night, but, I couldn't find the right words, nor calm my emotions enough to think clearly. The best way, I guess, is to go back a bit.

My daughter, as I have said often, marches to her own music. She has been allowed, at probably too early an age, to make her own decisions when something pertains to just her, i.e. wardrobe, food, etc. As a result, my daughter will try just about any food at least once. Like her mom, she dresses for comfort, not to please anyone but herself, as it should be. She has a glorious head of hair so like my own at her age, it sometimes brings tears to my eyes. When she began working, she had to wear her hair up. It became a habit to wear it that way all the time except for very special occasions. She is a t shirt and jeans gal. Though she has more shoes than a small army. they are, for the most part, sneakers and boots.

My girl shuns makeup. She doesn't need it. She has lashes many of us would kill for, naturally. She has beautiful, creamy skin, that tans to a soft light color that LOOKS like she is wearing makeup. Rarely a blemish, flawless skin except for a couple of tiny scars only her mom would notice.

My daughter embraces everyone, as she has been encouraged all her life. She treats people as individuals. She has friends of different races, sexes, religions, nationalities. As long as they treat her with respect, she does the same.

My child is her own person. I admire that about her, and have encouraged it. Unfortunately, I guess, I fell down on the job in some ways, and now she is paying the price.

Over the past few weeks, I have notices a big difference in my girl. Her best friend moved far away, and they have kept in touch with texting, phone calls, etc. Yet, over the past few weeks, it has gotten tense. Yesterday, I learned the extent of it. Her friend's new boyfriend has been harassing my child. He takes the girl's phone and texts horrible things to my daughter. Yesterday, he went on Facebook, and called my beautiful, very straight girl, a dike. She told me he had called her that before, and it was no big deal. (WTF!!!) she has no problem with the term, or what it infers, fut that someone might think she is something she is not.The reason she was upset was the little asshole put it on the internet for all to see. She was crushed that, not only was it out there, but that her 'best friend' allowed it, did nothing to stop it, and I have a gut feeling, thought it was funny. Maturity does not come with the physical adulthood...

My girl insisted on having her number changed. We did that, or rather, we found out she could herself. I have no idea where things will go, but I really hope she doesn't decide she has to prove anything to anyone. I am a bit afraid she is leaning that way. This morning, as I was getting ready for my walk, I looked at her sleeping. Her hair was down, and straightened, a task that takes her a good hour, something she only does for special occasions... I hope she knows she is beautiful in any form, and has nothing to prove to anyone. I hope she doesn't let the little asshole's bullying make her think she has to be something she is not... Been there, done that, bought the t shirt... The damage takes years to recover from, if you ever do recover at all.


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