How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Dec 11, 2012


I am very, very angry right now. Down right pissed off, to tell the truth. Alright, this whole saga began with that fateful phone call back the last Tuesday in September, I think. I was told my pap came back showing 'atypical cells.' I was scheduled to see the gyno the next week, two weeks after that first doctor's appointment. I went in, met with the doc, and he scheduled the ultrasound for the next week, another Tuesday, and I saw him again the following Friday. He took samples for biopsy. That next Wednesday, I got the call to come to his office as soon as I could get there. I get there, and, with my son present, learned of the cancer. So that was a month into every thing. A week ago this past Friday, I met the surgeon, was examined, and scheduled for a CT scan and, just because it had been a while, a mammogram. It is now December 11, thirteen days short of three months since this crap officially started. On the 18th, I was supposed to go in at 7:30 a m for the tests starting at 8.

I got a phone call a little while ago. The technician will be in another procedure at 8, so mine is rescheduled for 11. Nothing to eat after midnight, drink the barium, which the BFF assures me is like licking the dust tray of a chalk board, at 9 a m, then drive a freaking hour down there. I guess I'm to be there at 10:30, as I was told before to be there thirty minutes early.

Now, what gets me is, my appointment has been scheduled for a week and a day. Why is this other 'procedure' more important than mine? Is there really, in that vast hospital, really only one person trained to do a freaking CT scan? How would they feel if it was their mom, sister, daughter, friend that has been waiting for nearly three months for everyone to get their ducks in a row so that the damned cancer can be cut out?

Yes, I think I have reason to be royally pissed off.

The worst part is, I will then have to go through the rest of the holidays, and my damned birthday, waiting, still waiting, for these self righteous assholes to get this out of me.

I want this over. I want this done. I want to get this insidious, silent monster out of my body. I feel like a damned pendulum is swinging back and forth, with me strapped down to a damned gurney and they are all off playing with their toes as it gets closer and closer. I realize that there are others who are facing this sort of thing, and yes, every life is just as important, maybe more so than mine, but damn it all, why schedule something this important only to shuffle it with other 'procedures?'

I have things to do, plans, and waiting to see if the cancer has spread, then having every female organ ripped out was not in those plans.

Nope, still pissed off.

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Connie » 5 years ago

I'm sorry you have to go through the slow process. We also have been. I hope it gets better for you Kandy.