How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Dec 3, 2012


I talked to my doctor's office this morning, and my CAT scan is set for 8 AM on the 18th of December. I have to be there at 7:30, and drink the bottle of junk they gave me at 6:30. It means someone will HAVE to drive me, as it takes an hour to get to the hospital from here.

To be honest, I am less fussed now. There is the beginning of a plan forming. Battle plans, if you will. I am less stressed because I can finally see an end to the whole business, so I can get on with my life.

My kids are starting to creep me out, though. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss their bickering, yelling, and EVERYTHING being MY fault. it's like they are on eggshells around me. I hate it. Of course, the boy did lay into me the other day, but then he quickly hushed, then started making jokes. Their being nice sort of sets my teeth on edge. It just ain't normal.

Here's the kicker. The boy brought me two boxes of chocolates home. My favorite at this time of year, orange jelly covered with MILK chocolate. He muttered something about it fighting cancer. I just couldn't tell him it's dark chocolate that has the anti whatcha call its that I can't spell. Like some said, his heart was in the right place. Besides, no cigs makes mom irritable, but chocolate can soothe that savage a bit.

I am still floored at having lost 95 pounds officially. I have noticed a little more firmness under less flab, but still more of the flab than I want. But, I am about half way to the area I have set as my goal... Not ideal weight according to the charts, but a weight I will be very comfortable with for life. I'll be stealing my kid's jeans in no time!! I've already swiped a zip up hoodie from the boy. And I can zip the damned thing up!! Oh, and I did get my Walmart jeans on this morning. Still about four inches from zipping, but man, that is so great! Last time I tried, I couldn't get them over my hips.

Man, after all the yo yo ing, it was nice to see that number, all steady and constant on the doctor's scales. Some day, I may actually 'fess up to those numbers. For now, lets just say, I used to weigh somewhere between a super model and an elephant. Now, eh, maybe around the weight of a baby elephant... never going to get anywhere close to Super model weight, but hey, I can't smoke anymore, and I love food, so their diet and life style would not work for me anyway. They'll just have to do with out my fabulousness. I know, it breaks my heart to let them down, too. I think they'll survive.


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