How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

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Brought up Aug 1, 2012

Adventures With a Nineteen, er, Twenty Year Old... Et Al

As you can see from the title, my baby girl turned 20 Sunday. It depressed me a bit. 20. Of course, she informed me that it doesn't mean anything; She still isn't legal for anything she wasn't at nineteen. Still, it is a mile stone that many of my generation always looked forward to, longed for, and learned that it was no big deal, either.

Our present to celebrate the big day was the part to fix her car. We had expected it to be outrageously priced, as we had to order it from the dealership. When I ordered it, the guy, for some reason, gave me a discount. We saved even more with her brother's present for her; He put the part on the car. She played assistant to our Mr Goofy Wrench, and though the the letters on the gear shift do not quite match the positions for D, R, and N, the car is now mobile, much to my relief, and theirs.

I am a bit bittersweet about the girl leaving her teens behind. She is grown, and, I guess my job is done. But, I have discovered, a mom's job is never really done. My babies are no longer babies, no longer dependant on me for their necessities, but they still turn to me for the part I alwyas liked best when they were little. There are still hugs, still those times when they need someone to talk to about their lives and the dramas that only mom understands. Even when I don't really understand, they know I will listen. There are times I learn things that make me want to carve those particulars from my brain before it settles into memory, but I try to not let it get to me. After all, I have done things of which I am not very proud.

So, my youngest is 20. My oldest will be 25 in a few months. I am looking 50 in the teeth with a snarl of my own. Right now, though, I don't feel so tough. Bittersweet, meloncholy, and just a little bit scared of what the future may bring.

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