How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Jul 5, 2012

Swimming on to the Shore of the Future

Yesterday was a real event for me. I see it as the beginning of the next part of my life, part 4, maybe. 3 is a little hazy, and maybe I can bring it into focus now as I write. It's like being in water, swimming for shore, and wondering what is under that surface with me. I get small, short bursts of insight, but the whole picture is still being formed.

Part 1 was taking charge of me with exercise, eating better, and the results of all that.

Part 2, of course, was learning the computer. It has opened so many doors to possibilities for this next phase of my life. Nuff said.

Parts 1&2 have sort of led me to what I guess is part 3. As all these things progress, I am growing in confidence, blossoming in seeing myself more clearly, and realizing I ain't too bad at all. Like I said, its a little murky still, but getting clearer now and then.

Now comes part 4. It's hard to put into words that make much sense like this, so I will just tell of yesterday, and maybe while I work it out, it will define its self.

First, I went to a family reunion. It was a good time, nothing spectacular, but one of the first times I was relaxed in such a sitch, and very myself. I met cousins I didn't know I had, got told that my mama HAS to claim me, and for the first time, called my own shots. I was relaxed with family I have been tense with the past few years, ate what I wanted with out much of a twinge of guilt, and left when I chose. I had a plan, and stuck to it.

I also got to spend time with my BFF, and her mom, individually. Her mom, Jody, has turned a bit of a corner. They did an MRI and we are waiting for the results on that. She has 3 treatments left, since this week's was postponed. She and I had a nice chat for about an hour waiting for her daughter to return from an errand. I may write about that some time. When the BFF returned, the three of us laughed, talked, and once again, I said my piece on a subject. I may write about that some time with the other. They are linked, and would take a while to explain. The bottom line of it is that, though I disagreed with said BFF, I think I might have helped a little.

The BFF and I then did something we have never done together. We went to the movies! Magic Mike. Uh, that's a complete page all by it's self. One I really don't have the gumption to tackle at the mo. Let's just say, uhm, weeeelllll???

So, like they always told me in school, all these little parts, though murky, foggy and slightly undefined, are building a new me, or uncovering the real me that has been buried under layers of fat, self doubt, and self loathing. I still don't have a clear picture of what lies in those unchartered waters, but it is becoming more fun doing those quick dunk and sees... maybe I should get me a snorkle...

Oh! and, on the way home, once again, I got lost, but as my darlin' BFF said in answer to my obligatory text to let her know I made it home fairly unscathed, "Lol...okaaaaay...god (think she meant good)you wondered (think she meant wandered) back on your path." You know, wondered sort of fits, too. The wondering, wandering path is still open road... I just need to keep paying attention to the landmarks.

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Punk » 6 years ago

your best yet! and a great 'coming of age' story is in the making... hehe.