How Did I Get Here, And Where Is The Next Turn?

Greetings and salutations to all who deem this worthy of your time...

Brought up Sep 4, 2012

Stressed to the Max

It's coming down to the wire... and still up in the air. One of the many problems with being married to a truck driver is stress. You worry when he's out there on the road. When you hear about accidents, you call, just to make sure he is no where near the scene. When you haven't heard from him in a day, you worry that he is alright. When he has health issues, you worry that he is eating right and taking his meds regularly. You worry when he hasn't been home for a while.

When he comes home, especially when you have small kids, you have to deal with the kids fighting bed time, just to get a little more time with daddy. He disrupts the usual routines. After a day or two, you are ready foe him to head back out. Once the 'honey do' list is done, of course. Then you learn to do most of that yourself. It is not a life for the feint of heart, and many marriages don't survive a trucker's life. I know. I've struggled with it for about 23 years now. It never gets easier. You just get used to it.

One of the things you grow to depend on is HIS routine. A truck driver has his on list of chores, from inspecting both truck and trailer, following the regulations for every little detail, to paperwork out the eyeballs. One slip can be a disaster.

We are now dealing with one of those disasters. I hope the Wee Woman doesn't read this. My husband forgot to send in some very crucial paperwork... and now the issue of when he will be paid hangs in limbo. Most of me is confident that it will be straightened out before Friday, and I will be on my way into the adventure of unknown high ways, the wedding, and all, but a part of me is in a state of utter terror that, once again, my life is screwed by something I have absolutely no power over. Yes, I am very stressed now.

There is a difference in my handling the stress, however, now. A couple of years ago, I would be curled into a ball, incoherent thoughts racing, and probably upchucking any thing I tried to eat, or eating everything I could get my teeth into. Now, I am just stewing, Getting slightly freaked out, but nothing anywhere near curling... yet. If, however, Friday comes, and I have no cash, I pity anyone who comes anywhere near me.

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