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Brought up Aug 23, 2012

Me in a Dress? Has the World Turned Upside Down?

The Wee Woman, AKA the BFF, is having her Ceremony in a few weeks. I thought I should dress nicely, seeing as I have seen her dress (gorgeous, doll!). After much confusion, back tracking, and a few frustrations, it was decided I would buy, and wear, egads!!! a dress. Now, take in mind, the last dress I bought was about 10 years ago, and the last time I actually wore it was about 6 years ago, this had me in a cold sweat. Girly girl, I do not do, okay?

I have many reasons for my aversion to this basic female apparel. There was a time when I only wore dresses, the most miserable year and a half of my life, trying to blend in to a particular religious denomination. Long story...

Anyway, the other reason is that they don't really make 'nice' dresses the size of circus tents at an affordable price. Besides, sweatpants are just comfortable, dresses, not so much. I mean, come on, your nether regions are floating way to close to the outside world in a frigging dress. You have to watch how you sit, keep the knees together, be careful how you go in and out of a car. And, don't even get me started on those torture instruments that some yahoo deemed appropriate foot attire. Now days, I prefer my jeans, or the sweats, and my sneakers. And when you have thighs that do not allow the knees to touch, the whole feminine thing is basically screwed.

But, I have been reminded that I am 80+ pounds lighter, two sizes smaller than the tired, 10 year old dress I still like, as far as dresses are concerned, and mustn't embarrass said BFF by showing up in that. Or in something frumpy... but I am getting ahead of myself.

Today, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon window shopping online, one of my new tricks thanks to the Punk, and with his help, a bit. (Though the female child of mine says no man has any idea of fashion) After much consideration, and the Punk's squirrelly sense of humor, I narrowed my choices down to two dresses. Armed with these, I called the BFF, sent her the website, and held my breath. My favorite was vetoed almost immediately as frumpy. Huh? I thought it was a bit daring, feminine, a bit out of my natural element. Later, the girl child concurred. Frumpy... YIKES!!!

The second choice was okay, the style it's self anyway, but the print was just not, eh, right. But, this one actually had 3 different print fabrics and a solid color. I was leaning toward the solid, bright magenta, though to tell you the truth, it looks purple to me. My favorite color. One of the prints, however, has this wild, tropical feel, with purple, blue, and other colors in a 'mosaic' pattern. She liked that. Okay, I had told the Punk earlier I could 'live with that.' Then came the girl child of mine. the mosaic print was 'cool,' and since it's sleeveless, and I have this bat wing thing happening, (those suckers could fly me to the BFF's house) it was determined that I will be wearing a 'bright magenta' bolero jacket. I am also getting a black bolero so that I can make it a little different for a night on the town when the BFF and I head for the ocean. I am going to 'rock that dress' to quote the Punk.

Oh, and during the discussion with the BFF, I threatened to just wear my jeans. She said that would be just fine. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!? AFTER ALL THAT?!?!? I don't care if I do look like a really huge Easter egg, I am getting the damned dress, and am going to look spectacular!! Well, like a woman and not a troll for a change, anyway. Knowing the BFF, there will be plenty of pictures posted. I'll be the blur at the edges running for cover. (Or the one she has in a headlock to make me stay put)

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wee woman » 6 years ago

practicing wrestling moves.... YOU WILL pose in some of my pics... we have so few of us together. so this one will be framed break out the curling iron and